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Welcome to the Lockn' Forum - The home of the original Lockn' Music Festival family!
Please note: This forum is in no way officially associated with Lockn' Festival or its promoters.
This is The Joke Thread
Old Head
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Carlos Santana
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by buddy74 on Aug 16, 2020 10:03:20 GMT -5
Post by hrpufnstuf on Aug 17, 2020 8:49:37 GMT -5
Bartender- “Sorry, we don’t serve food”
Post by hrpufnstuf on Aug 17, 2020 8:50:43 GMT -5
Rabbit- “Opps, sorry wrong joke”
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Aug 17, 2020 10:46:22 GMT -5
"Sorry we don't serve your type here."
However, the peanuts are complimentary.
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Old Head
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro - Hunter S. Thompson
Number of LOCKNs attended: All of them
Post by hondo on Aug 17, 2020 11:21:16 GMT -5
Rabbit- “Opps, sorry wrong joke”
The rabbit says, "I'm a type O"
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Aug 17, 2020 11:40:06 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Old Head
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro - Hunter S. Thompson
Number of LOCKNs attended: All of them
Post by hondo on Aug 17, 2020 11:58:22 GMT -5
Old Head
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain!
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by war fart on Aug 17, 2020 22:04:37 GMT -5
Also: spin off a joke thread. Figger't owt!
Also also: the bartender says what's with the ship's wheel sticking out of your fly? The pirate says, "ARR, it's drivin' me nuts!"
5/24-27 Dark Star Jubilee Legend Valley Thornville OH
6/13-16 Beardfest Hammonton, NJ
7/7 Outlaw Music Fest Hershey PA
7/18-21 4848 Festival Snowshoe WV
8/2-3 Billy Strings Bryce Jordan Center Penn State
8/29-9/2 - Karnival of the Arts (East) Kempton PA
9/19-22 Infamous Weekend Pops Farm VA
Old Head
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain!
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by war fart on Aug 17, 2020 22:07:10 GMT -5
The younger one says, "Morning! How's the water today?"
The older one says, "What the hell is water?!"
5/24-27 Dark Star Jubilee Legend Valley Thornville OH
6/13-16 Beardfest Hammonton, NJ
7/7 Outlaw Music Fest Hershey PA
7/18-21 4848 Festival Snowshoe WV
8/2-3 Billy Strings Bryce Jordan Center Penn State
8/29-9/2 - Karnival of the Arts (East) Kempton PA
9/19-22 Infamous Weekend Pops Farm VA
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Aug 18, 2020 5:56:06 GMT -5
(My mother told me that one. I guess that's where I got it from.)
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Old Head
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain!
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by war fart on Aug 18, 2020 11:52:58 GMT -5
"Sorry we don't serve your type here."
However, the peanuts are complimentary.
5/24-27 Dark Star Jubilee Legend Valley Thornville OH
6/13-16 Beardfest Hammonton, NJ
7/7 Outlaw Music Fest Hershey PA
7/18-21 4848 Festival Snowshoe WV
8/2-3 Billy Strings Bryce Jordan Center Penn State
8/29-9/2 - Karnival of the Arts (East) Kempton PA
9/19-22 Infamous Weekend Pops Farm VA
Old Head
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: DakhaBrakha 4eva
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by uʞɔo˥ewbn on Aug 19, 2020 2:32:32 GMT -5
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge..."
Old Head
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: DakhaBrakha 4eva
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by uʞɔo˥ewbn on Aug 19, 2020 2:44:02 GMT -5
Why do we have Pi day and Women’s day but we don’t have Men’s day?
Because men are rational!
Old Head
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain!
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by war fart on Aug 19, 2020 5:47:19 GMT -5
5/24-27 Dark Star Jubilee Legend Valley Thornville OH
6/13-16 Beardfest Hammonton, NJ
7/7 Outlaw Music Fest Hershey PA
7/18-21 4848 Festival Snowshoe WV
8/2-3 Billy Strings Bryce Jordan Center Penn State
8/29-9/2 - Karnival of the Arts (East) Kempton PA
9/19-22 Infamous Weekend Pops Farm VA
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Aug 19, 2020 6:03:53 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Old Head
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain!
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by war fart on Aug 19, 2020 6:18:59 GMT -5
5/24-27 Dark Star Jubilee Legend Valley Thornville OH
6/13-16 Beardfest Hammonton, NJ
7/7 Outlaw Music Fest Hershey PA
7/18-21 4848 Festival Snowshoe WV
8/2-3 Billy Strings Bryce Jordan Center Penn State
8/29-9/2 - Karnival of the Arts (East) Kempton PA
9/19-22 Infamous Weekend Pops Farm VA
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Aug 20, 2020 16:37:18 GMT -5
"Hey Paddy you can't be doing that here!" says the cop.
"But she's me wife!" protests Paddy.
"Are ye sure about that?" says the skeptical cop.
"Well, I wasn't until ye shined yer light on 'er."
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Old Head
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: BECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECKBECK
Post by jrtmom on Aug 25, 2020 8:47:36 GMT -5
The bartender says, "That'll be $20.20..."
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Sept 14, 2020 10:15:36 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Oct 16, 2020 16:28:51 GMT -5
Three doctors go camping and are sitting around the fire getting drunk and bragging.
The ENT says, "See that hoot owl up there in the tree? I could do a tonsillectomy on him and he'd never know the difference."
The urologist says, "Yeah? I could do a vasectomy on him and he'd never know."
And the anesthesiologist says, "I could knock him out and bring him back and he'd never know he was ever out."
So they take the bets, knock the owl and go to work.
A week later one of the owl's friends says to him, "What's up with you? You don't seem yourself lately."
Owl says, "I don't know why, but ever since I went camping with those doctors, I haven't been able to fuck worth a hoot, or hoot worth a fuck!"
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Dec 14, 2020 23:18:58 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Cowboy Neal
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Dead and Company featuring Johnny Slayer
Number of LOCKNs attended: 7
Member is Online
Post by The Other One on Dec 14, 2020 23:42:33 GMT -5
Buy the ticket, take the ride...
the KIND 1/26
Dead Reckoning 1/27
Daniel Donato 2/3
St. Patty's Day Party 3/16
Del McCoury BAnd 4/25
About Time Music Festival 5/3-4
Rooster Walk 5/23-26
Floydfest 7/24-28
Yarnival 10/24-26
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Dec 15, 2020 10:38:48 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB
Post by hrpufnstuf on Dec 16, 2020 8:21:40 GMT -5
“Do you smell carrots?”
Merry Prankster
Disguised as a squirrel
If I could add one artist to the 2023 lineup: Anyone? Anyone?
Number of LOCKNs attended: 6
Post by smosey wales on Dec 16, 2020 11:30:38 GMT -5
Feb 12 Billy Strings NFK
Feb 18 Marshall Tucker Band Philly
Feb 25 Marcus King Band NFK
April 6 Rosanne Cash NFK
April 15 James McMurtry NFK
April 20 Little Feat VaBeach
April 21 Blackberry Smoke NFK
July 2 Last Fair Deal w/John K VaB
July 23 Dave Mathews Band VaB
July 26 Robert Earl Keen C'ville
July 28-31 Floyd Fest BFE
Sept 24 Southern Culture on the Skids VaB
Nov 19 Dark Star Norva
Dec 3 Sky Dog VaB